It's a Green Hat Kind of Day . . .

                      Any day is a warm green hat donning day. Indoor/outdoor, it's all the same.

              Today, we are enjoying the bright, (at times we can barely open our lids
                         since we are used to the perpetual gray) streaming light.





                                  Our rock throwing hands are freezing, but Ah, Yes, SUN!

THINGS THAT STUCK:

I am writing some thoughts from words that have affected me today. I came home from church and began talking, talking, talking deliriously about all that my mind is clinging to. Ann spoke about the TIME we have with our children and are we using its full potential. We have been given this time but ah, the catch is, it is fleeting. You mean my little girl just had her 5th birthday. FIVE entire years have passed? I don't want to sprint after it, throwing my body out in hopes of grasping hold. It's just a reminder to live in this moment with my children. Scott shared how he has created trusting relationships with his children, in hope, as they grow older they will invite him into their life, share with them their brilliance and weaknesses. I gathered that he wasn't interested in disappointment. People will make mistakes in this life. He just wants his children to be able to trust him with their mistakes so they, as a family can get it straight. I love that he doesn't waste his energy with these mistakes but uses it to regroup. Yes, I think we all waste too much of our strength dwelling on wrong paths. We need to use it to reconnect with ourselves and each other.

The spirit continued when Terry Gifford, creater of SWAN (Serving Women Across Nations) shared some pictures and experiences from Bolivia. She showed us a picture of a family with 6 children in their one room house. A house constructed of materials found here and there, a house with holes that allow flying dirt when the wind blows. Here I stand, complaining about how I won't travel the world, can't escape my not so harsh reality for a vacation. I have warmth, nutrients, electricity, clean water, all of the necessities to create. Needs everyone deserves. Terry spoke to the kids in our Primary and said so next time your mom says you can't play your video games . . . I don't think that Heavenly Father will ask me "Where have you been in this world, Michelle?" I think he will ask "What did you give your family, friends, people in this world?"

Food, Oxygen . . .Only the Necessities.

I know I have mentioned mental illness before I just haven't exposed myself completely, yet. You think you can escape your mind, a mind in my case that is attached to every detail attached to every person and thing in my house. The mind is the center of you, not in placement but in focus, which I have lost. My brain is a bit divided at the moment. It's like I can't feel whole and what little of me that makes sense is trapped in the bathroom or the closet (and I say "or the closet" because we have like one closet) and I can't move freely through the rest of the house.

I am forced to venture out on a late Saturday afternoon, for food, a necessity which we have none of. My disheveled mind is already past the fading away time of the day. I am walking in shadows. My eyes that are leading me are literally blurred because of wearing a trial, more breathable, yet thicker pair of contacts I got from the eye doctor who I visited Thursday. I have been stretching out my contacts well past their two week wear when they begin to lose their ability to allow oxygen to my cornea. Blood vessels have been growing into my cornea to compensate for suffocation. I know this is a metaphor for some thing in my life but its full awakening hasn't come yet. I am making my way through the grocery store. Bread, chicken . . . As I step along the cooler doors searching for Fat Free Milk, I grab it and turn to place it in my cart when I find I have no cart to put it in. It is gone. Did I have a cart? Has my mind fully yelled retreat, retreat and decided that crossing enemy lines (the ice lined milk jug) was against its better judgement? I found it back in the warmer, bakery area, the cart, that is. Although the two, the warmer bakery department and the cooler department are bordering each other. The key might be to find the balance, to stand directly on the line. Can't be done though; you have to cross at some point.

Martin Luther King's Final Speech.

Today is a day to celebrate the life of MLK! We have been sharing the significance of his life with Camille. This video is just a small clip of the entire speech. His peaceful words are an eternal inspiration. He gives me hope.

I Am Not Happy with Houston!

Today is one more gray, drizzly day. As I was driving away from Clear Lake, after talking with Kari, the friend I see and laugh with almost every day, I was sad. She has been moving to Houston for almost 6 months now. Her husband has been there since August and she and her two children are following. She was supposed to leave sooner than this new year of 2009 so I should be thankful for the extra time. Kari is creating a new plan to get to Houston. Houston, you have enough people.

Camille and I will contribute to this January rain because she loves her best friend, McKenna as well. We love their whole family. It seems difficult to find friends who share the same values and who raise their children similar to you. Most people who move to Sedro Woolley for work and who have no family here eventually move on. I am sure I will add to my sad words at a later date when they are gone and I will be feeling sorry for a long distance friendship. I am thankful for the chance to become friends, even if Houston wins, for now.

Any Ordinary Morning.

Camille returned to preschool today. She hasn't been since December 12th and being away from her normal routine flips her upside down. Last night, we talked about how she loves her teachers and friends, and how she would have fun, just as before. She went about her morning the usual way until after breakfast, which meant getting dressed and leaving for school. Then her gag reflex began to stir. Several times she stood over the toilet and I reassured her that her tummy felt queasy because she was nervous. No vomiting yet! Camille has been a projectile puker since she was a 5 lb 11 ouncer. I know the signs and situations now and can try to stave it off. Well, we did until I opened her car door at school. Most of it landed outside, except for splatters on the door and my red wool shoes. I mention my red shoes because these are my winter shoes (yeah, I'm a bit Mr. Rogerish) and as I was relaying our morning to my husband, red vomit stained shoes came flashing back from last winter when Camille once again was nervous. That was just the beginning. She jumped out and the vomiting continued. Today was the day I happened to get a parking spot right up front, and as my daughter was wretching away, the principal was chatting away right outside. I wiped her up and off we went to her first day back at preschool.

Happy New Year!

We began celebrating the new year at the Children's Museum at noon! We like to get an early start on partying. The kids love the opportunity to go crazy with the noise makers.

The loudness continues.
Later, we decided to try our hand at bowling. We thought we should keep our tradition of bowling at least once a year. Tonight's the night. I stole Lauren's purple ball and it did prove to be lucky, for awhile.
Brett and his brother, Sean, practice their moves.

Happy Birthday, Camille!

Build-A-Bear here we come!

Gabe loved choosing a special heart for his dog, Buster.
Camille knew she wanted the pretty blue, sparkly bear.The Build-A-Bear crew is hungry for some lunch.
Camille loves the art work McKenna drew for her.
We continued to celebrate with an ice cream finale!

Gabe opens wide to get all the good stuff in.
Big smiles.

I think they all like it.
Do we like ice cream or what? Brett got the "Love It" size for us to share and it was a beast.