Camille, Lily, Maddie, and Kiera celebrate Camille turning 8!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Lake Wenatchee Rocks! Get it?!
Gabe and Grandpa! Feel the Love.
We are connected.
Gabe leaning in for the kiss. Makes me so happy:)
We found this Sled Hill in Lake Wenatchee Park and we wanted to bring my dad to it. We went and got him and came back around 4 o'clock. Dusk was upon us and the few people remaining had sled their final run and were leaving. We had this massive hill to ourselves. We had one double tube that by this time had been patched and taped with electric tape since we created our own hill, branches and all the first day we traipsed around (the slowest), a longer sled (the middle) and a super speedy disc (the fastest). The three of us each chose one, the slowest going first and fastest last, anticpating the disc to come crashing down the dark. My dad captured Brett and I coming down. Flying down the fir tree lined hill, the tallest holding its strength in my eye, I feel the freedom in the raw snow and silence in the static night. Joy.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
I wanted her for my grandma. For a grandma I never knew and one who didn't want to know. I sleep with her quilt and Camille wears the bright pink dress Gladys wore to Darrell and Sherilyn's Wedding Reception. Everyone who speaks mentions that they feel loved, that they know she loved them. Isn't that the ultimate feeling we all strive for. She holds her baby sister Betty on her left hip, Betty's left arm reaches towards the heart, Gladys' right hand grasps Betty's knee, no end. Love.
When Gabe and I arrive home from the day, we wrap ourselves together in the dark, the lights from the "It's A Wonderful Life" church replica glowing in strands towards the bed. He holds tight to the program with her picture. He says she doesn't have a bed but will sleep in a box like thing underground. When he dies he wants me to leave him in his bed with his beloved fleece over the moon blanket (yes, Sherilyn, despite the new fleece, he cannot part).
Her hands are with me. One of the times we visit her she reaches out in desperation. We feel helpless. So we sit. Next to her and she holds tight to Brett's hands like the Momma bird in spring outside our window protects the babies in the nest she built. She stretches her hand for Camille's and
her warmth covers us all.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
I really did not know, when I had children, how much my brain would feel fragmented and entirely the opposite of whole. it scatters into making sure she's okay cause she has a test today or it's monday and she vomitted in her brother's shoe or he can't sit still and focus or he does focus and can't transition onto something else. these amazing babes and trying to develop me, not always wanting to be in the darkroom, but framed on the wall. as i write this, i can see that being 'framed' would be too final and that the interest and passion lie in the process of focusing the blurry image and there will be days when it is just that, blurry (i have been capturing pictures and attended a yearbook workshop last night and so it flows). i see these two final (which aren't really two but a series and aren't really final) moments and know in the midst of balancing us there is this