Santa's Favorite Dog

when will bryn be resurrected?
how is bryn going to get her body back from the hospital when she is resurrected?   
bryn will be hungry in heaven. 
i wonder what she is eating for dessert.
she might get wet from the rain in heaven. 
is bryn going to stay in heaven when we go to winthrop?   
questions in gabe's mind.

i would stand on top of one gasworks hill and brett on the other.  she would run like mad from brett to me and back again.  she would get quite the following of dogs and they would chase her. she would slow down and as soon as they inched closer she would dig in at top speed.

i could watch her run for hours. she was beautiful.

she declines so rapidly. she only weighed 35 pounds to begin with. with each stroke of fur, fingers glide down bone.  denial and avoidance.  today is the day. the appointed time, 4:20 p.m.  how does something die? 
we so badly want her to leave on her own.  we didn't want to be the ones to chose to give her the needle.  even though it is time (time is vague)  it is hard to decide when to take life.

in unity we walk, three of us with bryn in brett's arms, into the clinic.  i check us in and i stand there looking back at brett with blurred vision as she asks us if we want to be there during the process.  we can't leave her alone, comfortless. yes.  brett carries her in, wrapped in her fleece paw blanket and before we get to the room she dies in his arms.  we set her down and she is gone.  our hearts choke.  relief is present.  her time.  it is strange witnessing death. she was alive 10 minutes ago and now she is still.  how does this happen?  life and then stillness. 

she used to sleep with us.  when we got her from the pound we agreed she wouldn't.  brett left town and i guess i forgot about the agreement.  we lived in a shared house with no washer or dryer.  i used to vacuum the sheets to suck up the hair that would cling to our mouths. 

The Vomit Chronicles: In Flight

We are seated in the back (that wording almost makes it seem like someone pleasantly seats us in a quaint corner for a lovely dining experience) but no, we are seated dead last in a permenant upright position, directly in front of and next to the bathrooms of the gigantic plane.  We are still on Florida time, which would make it 11:30 p.m, when we begin our flight home to Seattle.  Around 11:00 p.m. Camille wakes up (we had a late for us dinner consisting of airport Mexican) and starts with the dreaded cough that stirs the stomach and always leads quickly to regurgitation.  We frantically search for puke bags and manage to get one to her mouth before the first blow.

Right at that moment, Gabe awakes and begins to scream exhausted, disoriented kid screams.  His legs hurl forward into the seat in front of him with extreme force several times.  I try to calm him and 15 minutes on a sleeping plane feels like holding my breath under water.  I pull him onto my lap and he says my legs hurt, my legs are in pain.  I realize from nothing other than wetness transferring to my legs that his pants are bodily soaked.  We go to the bathroom and he is still living in somebody else's existence.  Screams continue to greet me as we hull up in there. When we finally emerge, Gabe has woken most of the plane who have congregated outside in need of the bathroom as well.

Luckily, we had some shorts, shorts that would freeze Gabe out the entire flight.  During bathroom time, Camille filled up two bags with vomit which was given to me to hold while Gabe has all of my warmth draped on him.  I am left cold and tired, holding overflowing vomit bags while Brett, Camille, and Gabe return to sleep.     

Welcome to the Jungle

                                  The Arrival.  Yep, we have been up since 3 in the morn. 

                      Gabe dotted his legs with a black marker because he wanted to be a cow
                                          and "our place doesn't have a cow costume."

The Jump.

                                                               DisneyWorld!

                                                           Flying with Dumbo.

                                                               Mickey Ears!

Gotta spin in a teacup!

                                                        Rockin' the lightening rods!

                                                             Camille and Minnie.

                             Camille, Gabe, and some other family with Jesse and Woody!                                
We jumped on the autograph bandwagon later in the day.  We found out Jesse and Woody were going to be signing for 20 more minutes.  Brett and Camille ran from the other side of the World and I ran, carrying Gabe from the other, other side of the World.  This is the shot we got. 

                                                Who wouldn't want to live in a castle?

                       Camille met the princesses close to midnight!  She loved each minute. 
              She said they must be real because they spoke and acted just like real princesses. 

                                                           Grape Otter Pop!

Gabe would fill up his bucket with warm water and dump it on our feet in the role of Dr. Blueberry. 

I wanted him to do my other foot but he said that Dr. Blueberry only does one foot. 

                                                            Scorched frog. 

                                                                Lovies.

      Gabe getting into character when "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses started playing,
which was so appropriate since going to the outlet mall on a cloudy day was worse than DisneyWorld. 

                                                                Mannequin.

Brett needed footies to try on tennis shoes, so Gabe decided he needed some too.  

This could be the next BIG fashion trend.

                                  This shirt says it all.  Giving a shout out to my homies.
                              You know who you are and you will NOT be messed with!

I love this Father/Daughter moment.

                                                          Smores and Singing.

                                                          The Bite!  Well, one of many. 

                                           I so want to be that Smore right now!

 Just Dance 2!  I walked into the Activity Center to witness this spectacle.  Brett and I were laughing so hard because he was like, "How is she doing that well? What is she doing to get that good of a score?" and then we found out it was his score.  A little while later the Activity Coordinator leaned out and said Loss Prevention just called and are asking, "Who is that guy?"  Apparently, they had been watching and being plenty entertained!  What he won't do for his daughter. 

                My Everything.                        

   You could tell we were at the George Bush Airport in Houston because these words were blaring over the loudspeaker, "If you make jokes about dangerous items and Homeland Security, you will be arrested."  Florida, thanks for having us.   

clay pots and primroses

                                                     the painting.  no clay was left colorless.

                                                               deciding the next step.

camille experimented and created many bright spring colors.

                                                        the planting of the primroses.

                                                                 ta da!

                           final ta da...well, we need one more plant for the top.  final today ta da!

yes, i made these

                                        whole wheat crescent rolls with chicken inside

i discovered it is not the cooking that i dislike, it is the lack of a dishwasher other than my hands.  actually, it is not even the washing (who doesn't like warm, sudsy water?) it is the nightly hours spent doing it.   

peace came with every knead of the warm dough my hands formed into crescents. 

i am in your sway

feeling grateful for my husband who:

doesn't care that he drives a teenage car that is 18 years old

makes homemade pancakes every sunday and does the dishes

lullabyes the kids to sleep with his guitar

gives his all teaching and then teaches more (guitar) after school so i can be at home with the kiddos

has a broken (three times) left wrist that i can connect my thumb and index finger around to form a circle

reads his scriptures every morning

keeps digging holes so i can plant trees

loves the kids he teaches at school
flourishes when every major and simple thing he attempts is never easy
tastes the salt from my eyes and stays silent

doesn't try to fix what is wrong

is okay with me being mental...it's not going anywhere

thank you

Best Friday

                                                            It begins with a bridge.

                                   And so it ends with a rock and some deleted scenes.