Santa's Favorite Dog

when will bryn be resurrected?
how is bryn going to get her body back from the hospital when she is resurrected?   
bryn will be hungry in heaven. 
i wonder what she is eating for dessert.
she might get wet from the rain in heaven. 
is bryn going to stay in heaven when we go to winthrop?   
questions in gabe's mind.

i would stand on top of one gasworks hill and brett on the other.  she would run like mad from brett to me and back again.  she would get quite the following of dogs and they would chase her. she would slow down and as soon as they inched closer she would dig in at top speed.

i could watch her run for hours. she was beautiful.

she declines so rapidly. she only weighed 35 pounds to begin with. with each stroke of fur, fingers glide down bone.  denial and avoidance.  today is the day. the appointed time, 4:20 p.m.  how does something die? 
we so badly want her to leave on her own.  we didn't want to be the ones to chose to give her the needle.  even though it is time (time is vague)  it is hard to decide when to take life.

in unity we walk, three of us with bryn in brett's arms, into the clinic.  i check us in and i stand there looking back at brett with blurred vision as she asks us if we want to be there during the process.  we can't leave her alone, comfortless. yes.  brett carries her in, wrapped in her fleece paw blanket and before we get to the room she dies in his arms.  we set her down and she is gone.  our hearts choke.  relief is present.  her time.  it is strange witnessing death. she was alive 10 minutes ago and now she is still.  how does this happen?  life and then stillness. 

she used to sleep with us.  when we got her from the pound we agreed she wouldn't.  brett left town and i guess i forgot about the agreement.  we lived in a shared house with no washer or dryer.  i used to vacuum the sheets to suck up the hair that would cling to our mouths.