three a.m. thoughts

I am existing on few hours of sleep over the past well, I was going to say days, but this being mobile in the dark hours of night has painfully trampled its way under and over weeks. Sweet sleep apparently will not become a daily reality until my children no longer have blankets and beds in this house. I have to admit my mind, once startled, jumps into this frenzy of mad-dash thoughts. When I started this blog it was to tame my 3 a.m. thoughts by channeling them into written words. So, it's out. I am not normal, not even close to being sane. I know I'm not alone as I look around. Oh, this is getting scary. It's a bit hard when you have to fight yourself, especially your brain, the one that is in control of the thinking. What right does it have to go ahead and have a jolly laugh by sending messages flying all about armed with irrationality? Knock it off BRAIN! Depression, anxiety, OCD, Bi-Polar, the list goes on; I don't have all of these. These just happen to be the "disorders," since that is what most of them end with, that I have seen working within friends, family members, people. Okay disorder, I should be functioning in the opposite, orderly fashion? This is what you are trying to say. All highways and no side alleys for me. Not exactly. Do I have a conclusion? I might have to end with the reality of me being a "disorder." Can I be fixed?