take 2 (well, take a bazillion times over 7 years, but for documentation purposes) take 2.
she's in counseling now with wonderful kacey. her severe anxiety has shot up with a feirceness like the seattle center fountain. she tries to abandon her vomiting coping mechanism (did i mention every day coping mechanism) and halfway trades it for an unbreakable attachment (like moss to a stump) to me. am i the decomposing stump or is she? we still have the vomit plus a new frenzied addition. henk (clear lake's principal) will keep her with him while gabe and i grab hands and sprint while dodging behind cars so she can't see us. i retreat after hours of defeat. sit, breathe, cry. hands on steering wheel. drive away. AWAY=guilty. ringtone. it's henk. "she's fine. i just walked her to class." when i pick her up, i ask, "how was your day?" her reply. "it was awesome." next morning repeat. this isn't washing your hair. the shampoo bottle is empty.
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